Another day another doctor's apt

So today is my first due date, if you calculate based on LMP. Saturday is the date if you calculate based on US and ovulation. Tommorrow is my last day of work.

That's right, I officially decided and declared that I will start my maternity leave 'on time' even if the baby isn't. After waking up at 4am and not being able to get back to sleep I am done. Yesterday I was running on a good night sleep and felt GREAT! But today... not so much.

At the doctor I officially flipped into big numbers... and gained 2 lbs. :( I'm now 201. Epp! (I'm 5'10" so I carry it well, but that's a 51lb weight gain!!) The baby is measuring about 40cm, and I'm still 80%effaced, -2 station, and 1cm dialated. Oh, and the baby is probally over 8lbs. So I asked what the policy was for going past my due date. (My mom's first child was born via induction 14 days after her due date!!) Doc said that she would only let someone go that long if they weren't ready to be induced, in that there was a medical reason why they couldn't be induced, or they were still sealed up tight. She said I'm in a good place and can be induced whenever I want to be, and did I want to be induced next week. And I teared up. Why? Who knows. I guess because 1) I don't want to have to choose and 2) after trying so long to get pregnant and stay pregnant it feels weird to try to NOT be pregnant and 3) because I'm scared sh*tless about being a mom. I mean, WOAH! I've nEvEr done anything this big or permenant in my life before. So I said I'm okay with being induced... at the END of the week. I want to give this little bean a chance to get out on its own. So I have an appt for a check up next Friday, and a tentative induction date for the 17th. It feels good to have an end in sight and I REALLY hope it doesn't even become an issue. I would love love LOVE to go into labor (tonight) this weekend. I've been crampy and contractiony and everything. I'm just ready.

And I can't sleep because I feel like a kid before christmas. I'm just so excited!!

I was talking to my Dad about being worried about being home because, well, newborns are kinda boring. He said not when they are your own. He said that first week all you can do is stare at this little creature in amazement that it is a part of you and you made it. After the first week, he said it gets a little routine and the novelty wears off, but still not boring. I thought that was so cute and made me feel very loved. I can't wait for him to hold his grandbaby!!