Monday, June 22, 2009

I was right...

It WAS a shower! And a very nice shower at that!

I was getting stuff done in the AM and then DH and I were going to leave early for the party in order to stop at the Depot and get the paint. So we're puttering around the store and I realize, "Gosh! The party starts in 10 minutes!!" So we rush on our way and I'm thinking the whole time, "is it, or isn't it?" Then I get lost and call my Dad (who is supposed to be there) and hear voices in the background so I assume he is at the party. I also thought I heard my Grandfather's voice, so I'm like, 'okay, not a shower.' Then we get there, and I see my cousin's husband getting drinks from a car so I'm like, 'okay, so totally not a shower since if it was, why on earth would he be here?' Then I walk in and "SURPRISE!" it WAS a shower!! And I had so many friends there!! I got some nice gifts (though many people decided not to even bother with the registry) and we played games and ate food and had a really nice time. :-) I was very very happy. I cried. What a nice memory!

That night we took my Dad to the movies for Father's Day, and the next day my parents came over and we got SOOOO much done and have SOOOO much left to do! And now I have to add Thank you's to the list! And go shopping! But the house is starting to look... well, its trashed, but it has potential. The bathroom looks AWESOME, some minor problems are fixed and I will soon have a clothes line.

Baby is moving lots and I have an OB appointment today. I was panicking all weekend about the baby. I read stories online of people who lost the baby during full term delivery and that scared me. Then I realized, there are a LOT of people in this world, which is because MOST people are just fine. I think my odds of a loss are less than 5%. Thems good odds! I want to get the projects done these next few weeks, so I can put the nursery together over 4th of July. Then I can start on laundry and packing for the hospital and shopping. We can do it!!

Still, it was a very nice baby shower! Full of flowers and cake and super nice people!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I am SOOOO ready...

To lose weight!

I'm a person that likes seeing progress... and I'm also a horrific procrastinator. These things often work against each other. I am slowly slipping into a 'nesting' phase (I think) because I've gotten quite good at getting things done at home. The problem is I've also gotten busy with the summer plans which limits my time to get stuff done. So here is my schedule:

Tonight - Buy food, cook dinner. Clean radiator and tape tarp.
Friday - Buy food, cook dinner. Spray paint radiator. Choose paint color. Make shopping list for home improvement store.
Saturday - Prep bathroom for painting. Buy paint. By 2pm go to Grandfather's day celebration. (which I think may be a baby shower...) Take Dad out to movies.
Sunday - Family power day!!

On Sunday, my parents are coming over to help get stuff done around the house. What I hope to accomplish:

Paint Bathroom (mom)
Sew bathroom curtains (me)
Finish dining room curtains (me)
Finish nursery curtains (me)
Paint and install quarter round molding (Dad & DH)
Pain and install crown molding around closets in nursery (Dad & DH). We have these Ikea closets that I'd like to make look like built-ins which I think can be accomplished with crown molding. We will have to see.
Purchase needed stuff at the local home improvement store (storage bins, light blocking shades, etc.)
Rearrange furniture.
Fix drawers in dresser (this may be a fantasy)
Hang pictures (in nursery and other rooms.)
Hang shades/curtains.
Hang clothesline.

I think that may be enough for one day. Then I'll make a nice dinner (or get some nice takeout) for all involved.

During the week, I want to make the faux stained glass panels for the living room, and try to get my grandfather to frame them for me. Once they are done, my mom can come over and help design carpets for the downstairs. Hopefully, we can get them installed before the baby comes.

The next weekend, we will be in PA all weekend and attending an infant care class. After that it is the 4th of July where we may or may not have overnight guests. If we do, then they will be able to help us finish up the nursery. Then I get to purchase and pack my hospital supplies, just in case.

After that, I think it may just be laundry and keeping the hosue clean. I want to go to 'Let's Dish' and make some meals to freeze for when the baby comes. Meanwhile, at work, I'll be finishing up the fall events.

I'm starting to feel a little bit stressed.

What if the baby comes early? I'll be so unprepared!

But meanwhile, I'm looking forward to being able to start working on my body; to get back into pants with zippers. I hope my feet go back so I don't have to buy new shoes. I'd rather put the money towards the baby.

Also, if this weekend ISN'T my shower, then 4th of July I'll be hitting the stores. Screw this whole "wait and see" stuff. If it is my shower then I'm going to feel kinda bad because I suspect. Really, for no other reason then I would have no idea when else they would do it!

Life is getting awfully complicated...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Last Baby-Free Vacation

This past weekend was my 10-year college reunion... and it was more wonderful than I ever thought possible!

Friday: Drove up to UofS, checked into hotel, and went to one of our old haunts for some amazing pizza. Then we walked around a little, visiting the porch of my DH's house where we met. Afterwards, we went to the 'piano bar' event in the new student center. On walking into the building I totally recognized someone!! And she recognized me too! Crazy. We kept snowballing into more people until we had this awesome group of 1999-ers together. And so many baby bellies! If I was still dealing with IF at the reunion it would have kinda sucked. I do wish I could have taken the belly off for the weekend because there were open bars EVERYWHERE! Oh well. I think I would have had less fun ultimately if I had been able to drink since I would have been miserably hung over all weekend. Anyhoo, that night, after the piano bar in the new student center we went to a bar where a band that was made up of people from our class was having a reunion show. Of course the bar we went to used to be a little hole in the wall with the best cheese fries, and now it was an actual BAR! There we ran into even more people and I saw some guys I used to know. I didn't really feel like talking to them since I was no longer all young and hot. And we weren't very good friends anyway. I did see a flash of recognizition in some of their eyes, and that was good. But we didn't stay long because I was so tired and got back to the hotel by midnight where I promptly passed out.

Saturday: Grabbed a bite to eat and then hit the campus tour. So much has changed!! After the 'offical'tour, DH and I took our own, seeing the sites that we wanted to see and took pictures. Oh, and went to the bookstore and bought shirts for the two of us and a onesie for the baby. Then we went to the resturaunt where we had our first 'date' 10 years ago. It was fantastic. Just tooling around downtown, eatting ice cream and marveling about the changes in the city. That night we went to our class dinner and had a great time. I got lots of pictures of people, and really had a good time. Once we got past the 'so, what have you been up to' convo's we were able to talk just like old friends. That night there was a dance on the patio, which was a blast, though challenging to dance with the big ole belly. Then we went to the bar that we used to frequent 'back in the day'. My goodness it was hot and crowded!! I couldn't stand it!! And the smoking! Ugh! People kept bumping into me and the belly and I just couldn't take it. DH noticed it and so we quickly left. I'm glad I went though.

Sunday: We went to mass at the campus chapel and I forgot how AWEOMSE it was! I mean, the whole thing took 40 mins. That is half of what a service is at our current church. Afterwards, we went to brunch with our friends and had some last memories, and exchanged info. So nice. Really, I'm so glad I went.

Monday: After walking up hills all weekend, I knew I had no excuse to not do things around the house. LOL, DH had to actually keep one hand behind my back to help push me up the hills, but still, I did it. So I cleaned the whole house. It. looks. AWESOME! This weekend my parents are coming over to help with some last minute projects, and I have a lot of prep to do to get ready for that, but at least the house is clean. At the end of this weekend we should be in a really good place, and will just have to finish getting the nursery together, which should happen over the fourth of July. By July 8th, I want to be ready for the baby to come. I'll be 36 weeks, and ready to relax. Well, except for work. I won't be done with that until July 24th. So if I go early then they are screwed! By July 27th (after the weekend) I'll be in a good place to just start 'helping' at work and not taking point on anything. The fall semester is going to kinda be a wash since it will be all about survival. In January, I'll hit the ground running with organizing the spring events and trying to be more purposeful with other parts of my job. OR job searching. Either or...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


I am now almost 31 weeks and last night we had our first childbirth class. Kinda fun. VERY scary. But that's not the fear I'm writing about. I feel practically panicked that something is going to go wrong. Maybe its the inferile in me. I mean, you start out all, "Oh, TTC is going to be super fun! I can't wait to have a baby!" and then it turns into, "Not everyone gets a baby. Maybe I'll never get to be a mom." And I guess that's where I am now. Its so hard to feel safe that this is actually happening. Somehow I still don't feel like this is real, that I'm allowed to trust that all will work out. I mean, there are a bajillion people in the world, so obviously more babies survive, grow up and outlive their parents then don't. The odds are seriously in my favor! And my precious little one had been moving non-stop last night and this morning. I think the thunderstorm that freaked me out freaked him/her out. I just REALLY want to meet my baby. I want to know if it is a boy or girl. I want to dance with him/her in the kitchen. I want to be sleep deprived, and nurse my sleepy baby. I want to know how is kicking me like crazy. I'll do anything for a safe birth and a happy, healthy outcome.

I think this may be happening because I am so frickin tired. DH came to bed late, which woke me up to pee. And then the lightning...and the thunder... and the kicking... and then I have to come to this crappy ass job. And while I'm here, a coworker who isn't married, doesn't have kids was talking about how I could never get a compressed work schedule because if I did then she would want to have one too and they would have to offer it to her. Says who? I'm not trying to do this because I WANT to, but because I can't afford daycare! She wants to do it to have a vacation. So essentially, she will make things difficult so she can have an extra vacation day a week, selfishly taking away my oppertunity to parent my baby. I asked her does she seriously want to put in 11 hours a day? Seriously? It bothered me that my coworkers aren't supportive. I mean, I really want to work on a team, but I'm surrounded by people that are in it for themselves.

At least the rightgeous anger stops the panicky fear.

Oh, and PS! My cousin, young, unmarried, cousin accidentially got preggo with her boyfriend of <1 year. Seriously?! I'm so glad I'm pregnant and not still TTC because I think I would have LOST it. I still hate stories like that. What a crock. But, in the reality of it, DH and I want to help her because its hard thing to do. At least her parents are being super supportive!