Tuesday, July 29, 2008

What makes a day lucky?

So I finally managed to get the appointment. You may wonder why on earth I would still want to see a doctor that left me on hold for that long. Well, that's just how doctors work. At least the away voicemail gave the doctor's cell phone number for emergencies, and when I did get through they were very nice to me.

How I chose my doctor:

My Aunt is a L&D nurse at the hospital near my work. I toured the hospital while working on my master's degree in women's health since my friend (who is now pregnant) was writing a paper on hospital birth centers. I likes aspects of the hospital, and I liked the fact that my Aunt works there and would be able to get me the 'good' room. So I asked her which OB she would reccomend. She had LOTS of stories, and it all boiled down to Dr. FutureOB. Since I've been recieveing my 'lady parts' care from my PCP who, as it turns out, knows NOTHING about fertility, I decided I needed to see a real OB/GYN for help in why my cycles are all wacky. So I call Dr. FutureOB and her office asks me if I'm pregnant. "Well, that's the problem," I reply "I'd like to be but seem to be having problems." So they tell me they can only accept pregnant patients, but refer non-pregnant patients to Dr. GYN who is a fertility specialist, who then refers them back when they are pregnant. Fine. Well, it turns out the Dr. GYN is also one of my friend's GYNs who was reccomened to me ages ago! So I consider this fate, and think its nice that my new GYN is also an RE. So my appointment is for 08/08/08. In numerology (in the back of YM magazine, back in the day) 8 was my number. So...I'm hoping its a good sign.

So what am I hoping for?

Am I hoping to be totally fine and just need more patience or do I want a problem that modern medicine can fix? On one hand, who doesn't want to be 'normal', but on the other hand it would be nice to do something more active then just having all the sex. I'm hoping maybe for some mild endometriosis, nothing that a little laproscopic surgery couldn't fix right up, resulting in me being superfertile. My hubby has an appointment with a urologist soon, and I think I may be more scared for him. We talked about how fertility issues strike at the heart of your gender identity because that seems to be the big factor seperating men & women. There was actually an article online the other day (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25573669/wid/11915773/) about the prejudice against infertile women in Africa. It makes you wonder, do we have the same prejudice here, yet only more covert? I mean, people seem to have a lot of opinions of who should and should not have children in this country.

As a side note, I'm Catholic, and if sex is only supposed to be for procreation, then what happens if you are unable to procreate? I had a friend mention 'God's will' to me in terms of not being able to conceive and I'm sorry, but my God just couldn't do that to me. God wouldn't instill knowledge into doctors about ways to cure infertility if we were just supposed to accept it and move on. My bigger dilemna is how far am I willing to go? Hubby and I had a nice dinner last night and tried to discuss it, but basically we decided that we will get our results and deal with what comes. I am so thrilled to know that he feels the same way I do; that he also has problems being happy for our pregnant friends, and is not opposed to avoiding them at all costs.

Meanwhile, I have cramps but very low flow. I never thought I'd miss my periods so much.

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