Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Coming down the home stretch

I'm now at the 'weekly' doctor appointment stage, and get to enjoy the thrill of 'pants off' visits. My OB has very short fingers, and being a tall thin woman I have tall thin lady parts. Well, this requires my short OB with her short fingers to practically use her whole arm to do a cervical check and this hurts like a son-of-a-gun!! And the best part? I tore. Well crap. If I can't get through a cervical check without pain and tearing then I'm thinking that delivery may suck. I really want to try natural, but I am totally open to changing my mind.

So the baby is measuring fine, my cervix is appropriatly mushy, no dialation yet, and I've gained 4 lbs in 1 week. About 95% of that is pure water. You should see my feet!! Its amazing that they don't pop!! Otherwise, the baby is moving like crazy (almost painfully so) and I'm too tired to function. I feel awful that hubby is taking on so many of the household chores, but I am SO grateful. He is the best.

The nursery is almost together and now I have to go through the shower gifts and organize them, etc. The problem is I'm am still so scared of jinxing things! I'm terrified that after all of this I won't get to come home with a baby. I know that cutting a tag off a onesie isn't going to effect my birth outcome, but it almost seems too optimistic. It still seems unreal.

I feel so lucky, and so blessed to be in this situation. I can't wait to meet the little one and not be kicked in the ribs anymore, though it will be weird not to be pregnant anymore. We are trying to do back to back babies since our RE said that is our best chance for a sibling, so god willing, I won't be 'unpregnant' for too long! Then I can start worrying about secondary IF. I'd probally be willing to try for a break between babies if I wasn't so worried about not being able to have more.

So one step at a time...

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