Devestation

I am really a downer, aren't I? Sorry about that. There are just so many things that make me feel sad.

The first is hormones. Seriously.

Second is stress. I feel like I don't have enough time to do anything. And then I'm supposed to be working with my Dad, and tells me not to feel like I'm obligated, but I'm doing something I don't really enjoy doing and making no money at it with the hope that someday I'll be able to earn some income. BUT I eat dinner at 9pm and sleep by 11pm so there is not much time there. Weekends I'm normally swamped. I didn't pack a lunch today since the kitchen was such a mess. On weekends I normally clean, but if the weekend is busy (like the past few) then the house doesn't get cleaned. If I'm doing this second job the amount I should be to make $$$ then I'm NEVER going to have a clean house. But then my Dad has been doing it full time for over a year and he hasn't made that much money at it. Darn economy!

The third is the whole not having a baby thing. Made less fun by going into the bathroom to pee and discovering red blood. Well, its only 11DPO and while I would LOVE to believe that this is implantation bleeding, my BBT dropped this morning. Still above the base line, but on the way down. But seriously, 11 DPO?!?!? Normally I'm a 14-15 DPO LP. That was the one thing I could actually depend on! An 10 day LP is a sign of a whole new problem. Because, you know, I don't have enough fertility issues...

But hubby is good. His appointment with the Urologist showed that while they like to see spermies that are over... IDK, 20mil, his are around 60mil. So I feel bad. If he was with a 'normal' person he would be super fertile. But it does take two, so if one part of a couple is infertile, then it is an infertile couple.

I'm still lying to FF about the bleeding. I'm going to pretend its not happening until I see what my temp is tommorrow...