Monday, September 22, 2008

A fresh start...

CD 27 of 36
According to FF my average cycle is 36 days so yeah me! This month I'm average! Well, for me anyway. Some Googling revealed that average cycle lengths are 25-35 days, so I'm on the upper end of normal. That means I'll have on average 10 cycles a year.

Anyhoo, I'm supposed to be here talking about my fresh start. Then life keeps getting in the way. For example, I was at my cousin's wedding this weekend and I made sure she got the handmade lace handkerchief that every woman in our family carried starting with out great-grandmother (my mother's mother's mother, whom I hope to one day name my daughter after.) Well... it has gotten lost. Or at least my Dad just called to tell me that no one can find it. My grandmother gave it to me to continue the tradition, and I feel like I screwed up. Joy. So now I'm back to being moody and depressed. Fantastic.

I don't like who I am becoming. So lets get back to that idea of a fresh start. I can do this!!

I want to be the person I know I can be! I want to be healthy, and happy in my skin. I want to be productive and efficient at work. I want to be clean and productive at home. I want to finally hang something on the wall of the house that I have lived in for almost 2 years. I want to at least pretend to stay within a budget, at least so little things like car repairs, house repairs, and wedding gifts don't feel so painful. I can so totally do this!

But did you ever feel your brain freeze up, preventing you from pushing forward? Like you know you have to do laundry, but the idea of getting off the couch to do it is painful? So I'm going to try to do baby steps. Honestly, I think its the stress that is holding me back. And watching the horrible show Dr. 90210 this weekend, Dr. R was talking about how stress hormones seriously impede recovery from surgery. So maybe I really do need to relax, and being the person I want to be could totally help with that.

So I'll keep posted with how I'm doing, and perhaps that would be a welcome relief from the pity party I have become!

No comments: