Monday, December 15, 2008

Feeling better...

So the weekend was a bit rough. I think I've learned how to control the nausea. Basically, I need to keep putting something in my mouth at all times, because I no longer feel hungry...just nauseous. Also, the thought of eatting certain things makes me feel worse, most of it involving meat. But its not that bad. Of course, my mom didn't start feeling sick until around her 2nd missed period, which for me would be new years. So I guess it will get worse. At least I should get through the holiday's okay!

Otherwise, I don't sleep well and I'm tired. Small things wear me out a lot faster than they used to. But its no biggie.

Its all worth it.

I know I've gotten lucky. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, I got pregnant easily. Sure, it took persistant temping, accurate pee-ing, a million tests and surgery to get here, but it could have been so much harder! I was prepared for drugs and IUI etc. that to have gotten here "naturally" (again, having a surgery to improve fertility kinda nixes the 'natural' part, but the actual act itself was more typical) is a blessing.

Still.... (prepare self for whiney pregnant woman rant)
I'm scared. I'm tired. I feel sick. I'm scared.
I worry about the changes to my body. I worry about the baby. I worry about the house and will it be safe for a baby. I worry about the cats and how they will react to the baby. I worry that I won't be a good mother. I'm upset that I have to work after having the baby and I worry that I won't be able to handle it. I worry about labor. I worry about money. I worry that I won't ever feel "normal" again. I worry that my car isn't safe enough. I worry that I'm going to choke on a prenatal vitamin. I worry that this is all a dream and I'm going to wake up.

I just keep trying to remind myself that over half the crap you read about what you 'need' for a baby is just marketing. That people had healthy happy babies/children/adults with way less. So what do I really need? A safe car seat, clothes, and some type of diaper. Anything else?

Sorry for the whine. Since we aren't telling people yet, I just have no one else to talk to.

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