Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Sometimes you need to just breathe

I don't really feel pregnant. Its weird, the beginning of this week I was in shock. I had focused so long on accomplishing a goal (getting pregnant) that I never stopped to think about actually being pregnant. Then yesterday... it hit me. I was at the lab to get my first of three blood draws for HcG, Beta, & Progesterone, and the tech asked if I was TTC, and I said, "Well, I think I'm pregnant." That felt really weird to say. Later on that day I was looking up fish I could eat since we have this big Christmas dinner at a seafood resturaunt, and I started to freak. I can SERIOUSLY screw up my future child right now. All the organs are forming, and while I don't feel pregnant, I have to keep reminding myself that I am responsible for someone else's well-being. Is it Monday yet? I REALLY need this doctor's appointment.

So symptoms... hard to say. It is not uncommon for me to be tired, nauseus, and emotional, so today I am really tired, was slightly nauseus this morning and overly emotional to a work event. Is this pregnancy or just Wednesday? All I know is that the combo makes me upset about how messy my house is, but too tired to push a vaccum and scared of using cleaning supplies because of enviormental toxins.

We've still told no one (other than the lab tech) until we get the test results on Monday. Do all pregnant women have to get all this blood work at 4 weeks 4 days, or is it just becuase I'm infertile? Will I get a vag ultrasound on Monday? That would be cool. I'm terrified of blighted ovum, ectopic pregnancy, or anything else that makes this less "real". So...back to thinking positive thoughts!! There is no reason to think that this is anything other than a viable pregnancy, and I can't wait for the RE to confirm that.

Just keep swimming...

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