Friday, December 19, 2008

Rant about the SAHM

Last night I was at a Christmas party and was participating in one converstaion when the person I was talking with was distracted by his wife mentioning his name. So I started eavesdropping. It was essentially a conversation about how she wanted more children, but he wasn't ready. Then she jumped into this tirade about how she would never have children if she had to put them in daycare because she believed that was just an awful thing to do. Hmmmm... All I could think was, "This woman must have gotten pregnant really easily." I remember days when I was convinced that I would never be able to have children (even adopted children since we wouldn't be able to afford the $20K) and being faced with the very real possibility of not being able to have children, the very last thing I was worried about was having to put them in daycare.

I guess this taps into my deeper resentment of stay-at-home mothers. First, lets be clear that this all stems almost entirely from jealousy. I would LOVE to be a SAHM, but I had to go and fall in love with a social worker with student loans. I've done the math six ways from sunday and there is NO WAY that we could get by without my salary. Heck, we could sell my car, cancel all cable, phone, and internet service, and eat ramen and we STILL wouldn't be able to afford it. Unless maybe we chose to live in a tent. But that's not a possibility. So with that being said, here are my pet peeves:

1. Mothers that can comfortably afford to stay home but choose to work anyway. Yes, its a valid choice, and its great showing your children an equality of the sexes but quit your bitchin! I've had women in this situation complain about how hard it is... but how greatful they are for their housekeeper. And how frustrated they are over how long its taking to have their kitchen totally remodeled. And how they didn't have the brand new steamer washing machine avaliable in the color they wanted. Yeah, no pity for you.

2. Mothers that stay at home and work less than 20 hours a week. And they complain about how hard it is to have to leave their kids, but how its kind of a vacation, and how its nice to have the extra money to cover their housekeeper. (seriously? Am I the only one without a housekeeper?)

3. Stay at home mothers that complain about the term "working mothers" in that they believe it implies that they don't work. Yes, taking care of children is a full time job. Yes, its work. But again with the quittin of the bitchin. They will say, "some mornings I'm so busy I don't even get to brush my teeth! And then I'm running to the bus stop in my pajama pants." Well, I kind have to brush my teeth before work AND I have to actually wear clothes. So I'm going to find a way to get child up, dressed, packed, and get myself up, dressed, and packed, and then drive them off to my parents house (45 min away) and then 45min back to work, doing the same thing in reverse in the afternoon, and also cooking dinner getting the child ready for bed, and then having to find a moment to clean up the house. So if a SAHM is 'working' then I will be working 2 full time jobs. (plus a couple part time jobs to help make ends meet.) So, no, I will never say a SAHM is a working mom since they are 2 distinct and different things.

Did I mention I have a Master's degree in Women's Studies? Seriously, I do. They are probally going to take back the diploma after this! But like I said, this all stems from jealousy.

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